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I am in a storm of fear still. At times it is acceptable and at other times it is very unpleasant. I find the way I relate to the fear leads me react producing undesirable outcomes. I experience the outcome of these fear reactions through feelings of guilt shame and inadequacy. Things have improved with being able to redirect my attention away from paying attention to the fear. Despite an effort to redirect my attention every now and again I become temporarily consumed by fear.

I notice that when I am having the experience of my attention being drawn or grabbed by fear I am able to notice that this where my attention is at. I am proposing to myself that there is a point where action can be taken even though fear is grabbing my attention. What good is a redirection of attention if it doesn't result in usefulness? I might become consumed with fear and then notice it is happening but lose the ability to make something of that awareness. This has been my current issue that I want to change.

The next time I am consumed by fear and I notice that this is the case, I want to have an action to go with the observation that my attention has been grabbed. I think that the action might be as simple as taking a deep breath or anything that is to a high degree more useful than continuing to pay attention to the fear. I am going to experiment with many non-fear based actions. After each of these non-fear based actions have been taken I will try to notice where my attention ends up. I want the action and the redirection of attention to be together as one entity. This way there won't be a lot of time to for my attention to be redirected to fear.

I hope that trying this will help me through the storm. Even as a write this I have a fear that the storm will never lift. I have the fear that no matter what I try I will never find relief. So I notice the fears and take one deep breath. I realized during that breath that paying attention to the fears about the storm definitely won't create an end to the storm. The storm that is created by fear and the attention to that fear will have to end via a redirection of attention followed by action in a direction away from fear. Perhaps this is the beginning of the end of the fear. In actuality when I first started looking I sensed in that moment that there was no fear at all. I was born into life and eventually the storm began. I will see the storm dissipate. I have the sense after looking that the storm isn't a part of a life that forms from the looking process.

Hi Jon,

I'm catching up on the forum now, so this response is somewhat belated, but I wanted to say thank you for this VERY, very helpful (and useful) post.

I read this today, a day that has been particularly challenging on the fear/storm front and as I read it, my mind said, "but you can't turn your attention away from the fear" and the next question that came up was, "Well, why not?" I never realized that I believed that paying attention to the fear was required or necessary until reading this, and as you write, "paying attention to the fears about the storm definitely won't create an end to the storm. The storm that is created by fear and the attention to that fear will have to end via a redirection of attention followed by action in a direction away from fear." Wow, that is mind-blowing and true.

Thank you for this paradigm-shifting message. Hope the storm is passing and that your efforts to re-direct your attention are fruitful. I'm glad you're here--

Take care,

Ansley