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The act of looking has totally changed every aspect of my life

The act of looking has totally changed every aspect of my life from inside out. I''ve known John since his prison days.

Then, in 2006, I found him on the worldwide web. Whilst listening to John, I seemed to understand him and know where to look, but afterwards I floundered, doubted and tried to look for myself in some idea of myself.

But one day, when trying to look, I jumped into a swimming pool and it became crystal clear. This is what I am. And in this moment, it is sensation. Looking at myself is absolutely honest.

Eventually, this led to the understanding of what John meant that only I can know what I sense, and thus, where to look. This reliance on my own exploration has been really empowering. But first, I had to recognize that this me was what I had been trying to escape from all my life, and I thought of as ego, shameful and bad. As the looking progressed, this me became recognized as the most reliable sense of my existence. It is always here and has always been here.

This solidity, this true note, this core of everything has slowly evaporated the desperate insecurity of my life.

Without this veil, the difficulties became both more intense and yet transitory, and the joy equally intense, but also easily and naturally fading. Now, a sense like clarity, certainty and sure-footedness pervades my life. So I'm at last able to do what I want to do, and this includes responding more deeply to others, dealing effectively with issues that arise, and finding it so much easier to learn new techniques and blossoming in my creativity. And at last, being at peace here in my home, walking on the land where I live and being so glad to be alive.

This journey with John and Carla has been the crowning joy of this life. After 40 years searching and three teachers John's direct practicality finally brought me home. So grateful.

Helen Waterhouse

Hi Helen

Wow, beautifully said and I couldn't say it any better.

Eternal thanks to this community!

Sam

 

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