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Report where I'm at

Well I haven't gotten anywhere, still stuck in misery. Been doing the looking for a few years on and of. That unsuccessful history put's me down.

Though earlier I blended the looking with different enlightenment pointers and teachers, no more of that, I can see how it lay me stray the wrong way. Johns latest pointers also seems more direct.

I'm kind of put in a corner to do the looking, because of anxiety disorders crippling me, done all the therapies and medicines, still has some hope for this.




I've been stuck in a misery of depression and I've tried various spiritual and mental paths out of it but they didn't seem to be of particular help. I do feel that this might do it, though. I have hopes for this, too. I can't articulate why or how or what's happening, but it's a feeling. Perhaps we can be "tactical optimists" about it, as physicist David Bohm put it. Believe in it being alright in the end, just for the sake of giving it time to prove itself. We don't have much to lose, do we?



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