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Worldly Ambitions and The Looking

Hello, this is my first post with this community. I am happy to have found this forum. I've been seeking for about six years in the Advaita/ Satsang community, honestly not really knowing what I've been doing. Sat with a teacher who I felt kind of made me all mixed up and crazy. Basically I'm left with the beauty of the looking and some sort of inner quiet resting into the moment in a sweet way. But there is still this real unwinding that is happening that feels very slow and very confusing. The transforming into "Gold" is happening but still so much mud and gunk. I put off going for worldly goals, partially due to lifelong lack of ambition but also partially due to spiritual conditioning, thinking that if I did not go for worldly goals I would find myself more easily. Well now, I'm 35 and really finding a desire to create more stability in the world and find a career or work that I find interesting. Thinking about going into some sort of healing modality because I like those things, I like sessions where two people help the person go into a more vulnerable intimate space, but I also think the healing modalities are misleading they have nothing to do with finding yourself. The main point is maybe I should put all my effort into the looking and none into worldly pursuits but I tried this and it's still left me half-unsatisfied. Sorry if this is not to the point, I don't write much so I'll be getting better at articulating my point the more I engage in forums. Thank you all.

kell789

Hello, this is my first post with this community. I am happy to have found this forum. I've been seeking for about six years in the Advaita/ Satsang community, honestly not really knowing what I've been doing. Sat with a teacher who I felt kind of made me all mixed up and crazy. Basically I'm left with the beauty of the looking and some sort of inner quiet resting into the moment in a sweet way. But there is still this real unwinding that is happening that feels very slow and very confusing. The transforming into "Gold" is happening but still so much mud and gunk. I put off going for worldly goals, partially due to lifelong lack of ambition but also partially due to spiritual conditioning, thinking that if I did not go for worldly goals I would find myself more easily. Well now, I'm 35 and really finding a desire to create more stability in the world and find a career or work that I find interesting. Thinking about going into some sort of healing modality because I like those things, I like sessions where two people help the person go into a more vulnerable intimate space, but I also think the healing modalities are misleading they have nothing to do with finding yourself. The main point is maybe I should put all my effort into the looking and none into worldly pursuits but I tried this and it's still left me half-unsatisfied. Sorry if this is not to the point, I don't write much so I'll be getting better at articulating my point the more I engage in forums. Thank you all.

Dear kell789,

I read your posting and responded to it during our Open House on January 16, 2013.

Please let me know if more is needed.

John

hey, me too!

hey, me too!

Hi Kell,

Thanks for sharing. It almost sounded as if it was written by myself when I hear John read it in the online meeting.

I too have put off achieving worldly goals to be able to devote myself to the looking, and also because of a lifelong lack of ambition. I too have been thinking of going into a healing practice and am at the moment helping a friend to start his career as a TAT healing practitioner (my favourite method). I too am 35 years old and would like to find more stability in my life. But as John said, those thoughts and hesitations will all disappear. I'm actually finding myself living in the moment more and more - not worried about what to do next so much. I'm just trying to follow what seems to come naturally - an idea, a hunch, a sign... I'm trusting that we are being guided here, so there is no need to worry. Even the money I need is coming in, sometimes in miraculous ways. And who knows, I might find a partner through some miraculous circumstances too smily

Anyway, I wish you good luck brother. Let's keep on looking. It will all come right in the end as they say.

Best,

LeeHarry

 

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