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Growing up

I remember a discussion in one of the podcasts this summer where the topic was whether life became normal or natural as a result of looking at yourself. This discussion stayed in my mind ever since, and a few months back I came to the conclusion that the best wording to describe the direction of the transformation this looking at myself was taking had to be 'becoming an adult'. Even 'growing up' sounds right, but it's the word ADULT that really rings the truest for me. Since that first look life is no longer something to deal with, since there are no alternatives to living whatever comes your way. As such, taking responsibility for what happens, and what you affect in your life is no longer an option but a given. Again, there is no alternative to being responsible for you and your life, and it's so obvious that the entire concept of choice in the matter has become invalid and irrelevant. In practical terms the results on an everyday basis from this natural or normal way of standing in life and carrying oneself is for me the definition of the word adult - living life without any need for external confirmation nor disapproval. Not just from a mother or father figure, but from life or god or whatever.

Maybe this is too personal an explanation, so I would very much appreciate any thoughts on this idea.

Wouter

Hi Wouter,

Your explanation of your experience sounds very familiar to me.

David A

Accurate

That's exactly what I was trying to convey in my last posting.

Thank you, Wouter.

Yes.

Wouter & Elduderino,

I caught both of your posts while trying to articulate the inner changes I've experienced after 3 years of looking and you've both said it perfectly. The only thing that actually makes sense is that I've grown up - I'm an adult now. I started looking at 36, I'm about to turn 40 and I would not trade 5 years of peak living pre-looking for 6 months of the way is it now, and that includes the dark period of madness, confusion and doing it wrong/not done desperation.

Thank you both for cutting the fat (personal minutiae) off of what I wanted to express.

Richard

FluoSmurf

I remember a discussion in one of the podcasts this summer where the topic was whether life became normal or natural as a result of looking at yourself. This discussion stayed in my mind ever since, and a few months back I came to the conclusion that the best wording to describe the direction of the transformation this looking at myself was taking had to be 'becoming an adult'. Even 'growing up' sounds right, but it's the word ADULT that really rings the truest for me. Since that first look life is no longer something to deal with, since there are no alternatives to living whatever comes your way. As such, taking responsibility for what happens, and what you affect in your life is no longer an option but a given. Again, there is no alternative to being responsible for you and your life, and it's so obvious that the entire concept of choice in the matter has become invalid and irrelevant. In practical terms the results on an everyday basis from this natural or normal way of standing in life and carrying oneself is for me the definition of the word adult - living life without any need for external confirmation nor disapproval. Not just from a mother or father figure, but from life or god or whatever.

Maybe this is too personal an explanation, so I would very much appreciate any thoughts on this idea.

Wouter

Dear Wouter,

I read your posting and made some comments about it during the Open House on February 6, 2013.

Thank you.

John

 

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