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Looking and 'Sitting'

I've been meditating almost daily for thirty-five years and now I do the looking in the context of my daily forty-minute sit. I (usually) find this very satisfying, and looking at myself is the only thing I'm interested in doing during that time. I don't seem to look at myself much at other times, perhaps because the sitting is so intense now that I can't face looking more often.

I have no idea what's going on in my life or what the future holds but that doesn't seem to be a problem. This is weird and new.

So my question is: Am I doing this right? It seems to be working, and also seems to be making my life very uncomfortable right now. I feel like I'm being reorganized internally, especially at night. For a while I was spontaneously falling into the looking at bedtime but stopped letting that happen when it made sleep even more difficult.

I'm definitely attached to meditation practice, and also to intensity. Discomfort is acceptable to me, in a good cause, for a while. I need to feel like I'm 'doing something' to improve my life. But maybe I could stop pushing so hard?

Relax

Hello Wally,

Welcome to our community. As far as I can tell there is no specific time, place, or practice such as meditation as it is commonly understood necessary to do the looking. It is not meditation, however that does not mean that sitting and looking for forty minutes is not workable. Although it is only necessary to look for a moment to get a sense of the "you", and as far as I can tell that's about all you can get before the beam of attention scatters off again. You may want to experiment with doing the looking whenever it occurs to you in the course of everyday activities. I suspect that to sit for forty minutes doing the looking may "confuse" the simplicity of it with whatever else goes on, and you may find that it feels more intense than it needs to be. Bottom line: Do what feels right and works for you.

As for the discomfort; It is to be expected that after the looking, the reorganization of personality will be unpredictable and is often reported as uncomfortable, depending on the unique make up each personality. As the condition of the fear of life departs and direct contact with life begins there is an intensity that is natural, and states of emotion and thought forms arise that are consistent with the deconstruction and reformation of a personality that is no longer fear based. This will take time....and what I have discovered is the less resistant and the more attentive you are to what is occurring, the easier it is, and the less time it takes to move into a natural relationship with your life.

I hope this is useful.

I have found that it is also very useful to stay involved with the community by visiting this forum and interacting with others who have done the looking and are experiencing what follows, and attend the weekly and monthly meetings online, listen to the podcasts, and talk to John in these meetings, via postings etc.

Finally, I have found that whatever you own as yours in terms of this work and the relationship you have with others who have done the looking makes a difference. Participating in the project to bring this simple suggestion to as many people as possible is an expression of who we are naturally that is revealed following the looking. This means to consider joining the grassroots project and attending meetings where people are working on exactly how to talk about the looking and how to effectively communicate it to as many people as possible. Another aspect of ownership is recognizing that the future of this work depends on the willingness of the community to support its existence in the world. One thing that makes this community unique in the world is that it is and will always be free to participate and realize the freedom that is all of our birthright, at the same time we cannot exist in the world and bring this to humanity without dealing with the need for the money it takes to do it. So, John and Carla and the work depend on the donations people give to keep the bills paid and develop the ability to bring this to the world via the power of communication we have with the internet. So..I request that you consider this as part of your participation and assert that it will make a difference in your relationship to the work.

Sorry if I rambled on here, but I just have found that this aspect of participation actually empowers me to experience that that work is mine and that we are all in this together.

Thank you for your communication. I hope to see more of you here.

Love.

David

 

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