Just One Look Forum Archives

Hi!

I am not a native English-speaker and I don't know if anything I write will be of use at this place.

I do the looking now since 2007, and just like to discuss about what it means. In the meanwhile I posted about several thousand texts about the "looking" in a German forum about "awakening".

I like also much the whole tradition in this, Milarepa, Ramesh Balsekar, Tilopa, Ramana, etc. and my style in speaking is somehow different, developed differently from the way John speaks about all this today. So I don't know, if this suits. I love all these traditions, and I see also an evolution in speaking about all this.

And the funny thing is that I met John just in the time, he spoke about this "looking at oneself" in a way that suited somehow perfectly for me. In the meantime I went my own way, also in speaking about.

I also don't know, if I will write more than this article for this forum. In the forum I am at the moment, it is a German forum, I already posted about 7.000 texts--because it is "looking" for me--I love it, just to look, and write, what I see--like others like to watch TV, or anything else. And writing about the "looking" is very easy, because that, one writes about is always present. There doesn't exist a more easy and direct subject to speak and write about--I look, and the thoughts enter my mind, like the sun in the morning makes the birds singing in my garden. O.K., I became lazy in gardening, and all developed to be more a forest around my house.

The outcome for me (so far) is, that I am the only who exists ... not in the sense of a "social truth", in the sense of a *personal truth*. My truth--and there will never be anything for me, that I am not.

The outcome for me (so far) is also, that there exists nothing like "inside" and "outside" anymore--all is directly myself.

And my understanding is also me. And it came out so far for me, that time and space are creations of my understanding, and just only exist as the background for this "picture of myself"--as relationship between experiences that I call my personality--but time and space have no higher reality any more than to be a construction of my mind, in drawing this picture of myself, what is my own personality--my understanding of myself.

And with this I found this miraculous "here" to be the only reality that exists, including all of time and space in this picture about myself, that personality is.

And still, there is the deep addiction to the fascinating fact of being in what I find myself to be at the same moment "anything and nothing" that exists, as this story that unfolded as my life--and I have no idea, from where it came, than what life shows me.

The miracle of myself is always present, and the fascination in this (for me) is that it never came into existence, and so never can really die. It is my own reality, that is above birth and death and time and space, and looking again and again into this reality that is the simple reality that always existed, shows like more and more--what only means, it somehow flows into my own understanding about myself.

The reality of myself is very easy, always present, but with this conscious look into it, this understanding came slowly with the looking at myself. And this is the miracle with the "looking".

But I am still this simple human being I was before, with all the common questions and problems in life--but they lost somehow this "hardness", this "drama to the drama", they created before.

So far.

tobias

The fascinating understanding, that did arise for me in the close look into/onto this (my) simple experience "to be" was, that in this experience I felt closer to myself than in any experience coming and going in the happening of life. It is like a: "Just stand still, and you are at home". It is something, I can reach simply in doing nothing. An experience, to what I felt back, equal how far my imagination went away into the past or future. There is something, I consist of, that must not be kept alive--that is just alive out of itself--and doesn't ask for any struggle or effort to be... it just exists out of itself. I exist in this experience out of myself, effortless. To be something in life means always to struggle, and to keep it running, it asks for effort, earning money, cleaning up, fitting it, and all this stuff. But this experience exists without any struggle, can't be destroyed--nor be reached. It always exists. And this simple experience, everyone knows, but mostly is neglected, is what in the spiritual arena is called "the awakened state". And the funny thing is, that everyone knows this experience, no one can avoid it at no point--it can only be neglected, what means, it seems to have "nothing to say", because it is deeply known, very intimate.

Nice

Just to say, yea, what Tobias said accords very well with my experience in this endlessness of the unboundable indescribable whatever one cares to call it, all words break here, all concepts, all images, "all and nothing" is just exactly right, and likewise fails utterly, but that's okay, we're still here, woop-dee-doo, ain't life grand, yezz.