Just One Look Forum Archives

I just read the Sept Just One Look News. Everyone should read it.

The email that John shares is raw, profoundly sad and speaks volumes to me.

I have.. for the last year and a half...been experiencing something very similar to what the writer of this email is describing. It's not trivial, it's not funny, nor is it completely necessary.

For me... this time seemed like...more shock than awe! I was 2.5 - 3 years into the looking at that time and staying true to my particular psychology... looking for a short cut.

This is what happened... I felt I had been doing everything John had suggested regarding what he reffered to as ameliorating the symptoms. (doing the best that I could, given what I had to work with) when I found myself in the most hateful, raging, terrifying experience ....ever!

Coming away from that experience... I decided ... screw this! The changes in my moment to moment experience was so small ( not even worth the paper to write home about) that it was time I grew the hell up & got on with my life... whatever that is suppose to mean! No more talking about my looking experience, no more suggesting it to others, no more attending online meetings! I'm f'ing done! ... or so I thought... and therein lies the rub.I began noticing what I was doing rather than what my thoughts told me about what I was doing I have no helpful advice here ... ask John! But I began noticing I was doing the very things that I said I was not going to do & not doing what I said I was going to do. Kinda the reverse of Romans 7:9. My last post in the forum was just.... ridiculous. I added that to my list... no more posting! Just so you can keep up with this unfolding drama... no post made the list July 2013.

That's when things (life) started getting real. I was attending to every aspect of death & dying. Three deaths in the family circle in 3 months with my own precious Mother's being the 3rd. .... This can't be what John is talking about when he says... you will find yourself in love with your life etc. etc.

I know life is painful, complicated, & messy but where is the .... in love part? This just sucks in a whole new way!

I found myself spending time each morning ... practicing focusing my attention. 10 minutes... with no agenda. I had been doing it for months after my Mom died without noticing. I know! How could I be doing something John recommended without being aware of doing it! Guess what happened when it came into my full conscience awareness? The bright idea of increasing the time in hopes that this last ditch effort would hurry up & produce the "natural something" that John seems to be!!!! I stuck to the 10 minutes.

It turns out ... this looking business... is NOT what I signed up for. You don't always get what you want but you get what you need a.k.a Mick Jagger. Turns out to be pretty close to what I am experiencing. This falling in love with life is not what I thought ...surprise! In my experience so far... it taste more like profound gratitude. Not once did I ever think life could be sweet for no reason...I'm alive in this human form & the good news is the same as the bad news ...the only power I seem to have is ... wait for it!!!!!.... Where I put my attention! It's really that simple & at some point even My experience of life will finally mesh into what I always wanted & that turns up just when I need it!

And the beat goes on,

LaQuita

PS If you find yourself stuck ... donate to this work! I'm not saying the act will do anything but that's one thing I have been doing consistently for these 4 years. My giving has been random amounts at random times but I did it even when I had no idea why.... I just made up a reason! Works every time.

This is beautiful LaQuita. I'm assuming you would include Romans 7:10.

I'm glad you're posting again, LaQuita, I really like your style. My sympathies in the loss of your mother and other family members. That much death at once can be unnerving, to say the least. I had a similar situation as yours this August when my mother died followed by my mother in law 2 weeks later. I believe that the reduction of fear and the resulting change in my psychology helped me weather these events in a way that would not have been possible before the changes brought on by the looking. The emotion was processed, and continues to be processed, and things were done in the proper sequence and at the right pace. I was never swallowed by the anxiety or grief surge that I usually experience in these circumstances. I'm glad to hear that you also fared well. We all gather strength from one another as the fear recedes a bit in this world.

Hey guys,

John-- just want to correct my typographical error. I referenced Romans 7:9 instead of 7:19. If only the biblical scribes of antiquity had had a laptop!

Jack-- thank you very much for being here! How very fortunate this community is to have sane, compassionate people like yourself giving your time & attention to others! It's such a beautiful thing to feel! Thank you from the depths of my heart!

Be well,

LaQuita

If after just one look at me you are oriented--that orientation is you--now, whatever arises.

It surprises me in some situations to realize the fear isn't there. Often I feel I'm not contributing enough to sharing this work so here's a story about an ordinary moment in my daily life. I had a very difficult salesperson today who I could feel was really stressed out and he was extremely rude to me so I simply pointed out it was inappropriate to talk to me in this tone of voice and he blew up like really angry. Extreme anger like that used to really freak me out but I stood my ground and when he calmed down we talked about the fear he had of making mistakes and apologized. It was interesting to watch this thin layer of anger dissolve and see the frightened little boy inside. Without the fear response sane human connections happen and I go on with my day with a smile.

"we all gather strength from one another as the fear recedes in this world" YES!!

Beautiful story, Maureen. Thanks! And yes!

Jackx, do you know why John Sherman says what he says--which is essentially "look at me" and nothing else?...... Perhaps most people are afraid. Looking at me is at the edge of us. If we are infinite expressions of the infinite what better way, to be, than unafraid. Just you and me and everyone else. You know why John attends to these forum discussions?

It is enjoyable to read all these comments from people who are beyond [their] fear. After looking at me...you will know exactly how much you may want to assist this action.