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An Experience of Looking

John, I would like to share a report with you, about myself, and perhaps it is of value to share with others also, hence the posting here . Prior to accidently coming across your website and reading your book, then dialoguing in meetings etc., I was living in two worlds concurrently. This condition was the result of an unlooked for experience of Reality 6 years ago. After the experience, I could not doubt the experience but I spent a lot of time trying to understand the experience, and what's worse, live with it. The result was two worlds at once -- the vast, still, unmoving source -- and the everyday, heavily stressed, anxious Patricia. Quite clearly this needed resolution, and the only thing I knew to do, was to return over and over to the previous experience, which of course deepened that formlessness, but it wasn't resolving being in two worlds at once.

Once I heard your message, it was also very clear that there was absolutely NO reason not to try the action you were speaking about. There was NO reason at all not to try. Then upon trying, it was very quickly certain that I had been overlooking the seeing of myself, because this seeing is so brief... and I was focusing on other truths that are, and always were, simply the case, seen or not seen, noticed or not noticed.

Unfortunately my course of recovery seems pretty miserable, but I was miserable anyway, so what the heck! Today, I can easily see outwardly, as well as sense within myself, many shifts and changes. Clarity increases believe it or not! Ans I am seldom now in two worlds at once. I am right here, just larger and also more simple, than my imagination could ever create. I am here and life is here, and they are not separate. The journey is not over by any means, however it is very good to see/know/feel recovery as it happens. Doubt still arises here and there, mostly from the personality traits which continue even though they are abating. There is NO doubt though that what has also arisen is the deep, deep urge to want every human being to discover that they can see themselves clearly, and live fully and openly, for a change, in this ongoing miracle of aliveness. And it seems so strongly that it is time to say this, for any who are willing to just hear and then Look.

Always Love,

Patricia

Hi Patricia!

I just wanted to thank you for sharing your experiences here and during meetings with John. I've been through some really unpleasant experiences in my own recovery, and it's been so helpful to hear how this is going for you. I think those of us who are doing this looking and are interested in supporting each other in this growing community can be a huge resource to each other; you have been a great resource to me smily. Thanks!

Youngmee

Sharing

Sharing

Hi, Youngmee,

I'ts so nice of you to reply with such support smily It is really not surprising to me that honest sharing is part of the richness of living, because love is our very 'being'. It has always been abrasive for me that people generally do not just kind of automatically be open, honest, sharing and caring. Not that solitude isn't also nice. I think one of my big lessons is to learn that even if others are not so honest and seemingly not desirous of real sharing, that this being their current action should not stop me from "being me", even if what I try to say is so often very awkward these days. Easy to say, not so easy to simply do, BUT easier than previously!!

So I'm very glad that whatever I say in our joining/meetings is of any help even in little ways to anyone else, and it cheers me to read your words.

For me also, it is true that often what others say is helpful in my journey too. Onward !!! smily ....and thank you!

 

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