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A Question about God

OK... I'm just going to put it out there. I've been looking for about 4 months and I have a question that I'd like to ask you guys. I don't know anyone else who looks at this in the way we are doing...and so I'd like to hear how you feel about this.

I know that my language is not as clear as I'd like it to be, so I hope you can read through it. Here goes:

It seems to me that people look to the idea of God as a solution to their lives. I've heard John say that many humans try to be good, religious, or even appear "godly" in an attempt to appear better to others, to themselves, and mostly to deal with their overwhelming fear of life. (Does that sound like what you understand as well?)

Lately, when I hear people talk about praying to God, saying that they depend on God, have a relationship and/or dependence on God, or ask and receive a solution from God, (usually calling God by the pronoun "he") I am looking to see -- what is this thing that they are talking about, and that for all of my life I have been calling "God"?

I asked this question yesterday to my husband and he answered with a long list of synonyms for God, ending in, "you know, it's your higher power."

When I look inside myself, when I put my attention on what it feels like to be "me," it's absent of any personification. So, when others say "God" or "he" and so forth and so on and I feel judgmental of that, I figure that judgment is a part of my recovery. I am judging them as "not quite there" or "not clear enough" or "lost in rhetoric"... or worse, "wrong." And maybe it's not "worse" or "wrong" but just "what is"... just "what is appearing" (I can't recall John's phrase, but it's something like: "currently appearing.")

So when I hear the word "God"--I am immediately translating it into this presence I experience for fractions of a second now and then--that I call "me." I know this doesn't make the use of the word "God" wrong -- but it seems so inexact to me. And my thought process/my mind wants to correct it. To look inside at "me" instead of use old metaphors for that presence. And in this recovery, I feel as if I want to correct others too. Yes, I am still wanting to change the world. And I know all I can ever really do is look.

OK, so that's it.

With love to all,

Dawn

Dawn,

I think this is likely to be just the way your recovery is playing out. Although there are obviously some general effects that we all share, the human mind is inconceivably complex and I imagine the number of possible scripts is infinite. One of the effects that we seem to share, for example, is the amazing experience of waking up today wondering what yesterday's fretting was all about. Not that you are fretting here. Personally, I do not expect to come to any kind of understanding about God as a result of the looking. Some things are unknowable to the human mind.

I feel certain that there is something wonderful happening on a grand scale that is far beyond our capacity to understand. Come to think of it, understandings have for the most part and in the long run not served me well anyway. At the moment I do not think I could arrive at a fixed idea of a philosophical question if I wanted to! I think this is a direct result of the looking.

Here's something I do share with you, I think: A sense of wonder at the changes that are occurring in my life. If I grab a thought or feeling, as you are doing here, and try to hold it still, it just vanished as if I am trying to hold on to a cloud. I suspect that these bits are like pieces of a constantly morphing and very intricate jigsaw puzzle. They might be beautiful or they might be ugly and we can ponder them and create all sorts of "understandings." But that is an endless task.

I think our return to the natural state is in many ways a return to the unquestioning wonder of a child. Yet this perspective does not seem to prevent our functioning in the world as an adult. Not at all.

You may read this and think what in the world is he going on about. I may read it and wonder the same thing!

Take care,

Steve

Hi, Dawn,

My intellect finally settled upon; God is the lifeforce of everything...the language is just kind of inadequate; "he" etc. in describing this force/energy we've made it into a personality to relate too all these centuries. My last 'seeking' years were with quantum physics and more science based information. But, this answer is just another mental concept, from the mind...

I also noticed a lot of judging and catagorizing others with their beliefs... LOL my 'survivor mind' (ego) seems to take hold of everything so quickly, that my 'spiritual search' became 'hostage' to it, until I realized; 'oh, I'm just trying to be superior again, stay ahead of the pack' LOL!

One thing I noticed even before I discovered 'the looking' was that I had pretty much lost all motivation for anything; searching, discovering my purpose, goals of any kind, success, money making, trying to manifest, all that was just disinteresting. Even fear as motivator was loosing its grip. My best guess here is that I was getting primed for this simple act. I want to be real or authentic or whatever...

So here I am too, turning to the looking...

Gail

Hi Steve,

I get your drift! Thank you so much... yes, I do see now how this is all a part of my recovery. All so simple--keep looking and let the medicine do its job.

All the best,

Dawn

Directcontact

It seems to me that people look to the idea of God as a solution to their lives. I've heard John say that many humans try to be good, religious, or even appear "godly" in an attempt to appear better to others, to themselves, and mostly to deal with their overwhelming fear of life. (Does that sound like what you understand as well?)

Hi Dawn,

Yes, this is how I see it as well. As humans evolved, they made up explanations for what appeared terrifying or inexplicable or wonderful to them. Lightening, storms, floods, famines, hurricanes, or any other act of nature, were explained as "acts of God(s)" by ancient and modern cultures. When nature was benevolent, it was because "God was pleased." In addition to man-made, unseen deities, any person throughout history who stumbled across the looking was elevated to the status of a deity who will somehow save us (from the fear of life).

I see the looking at another step in the evolution of the human creature. It looks to me to be a very necessary step if the human creature is to become sane and stop destroying everything in its path (for, after all, the human creature depends on this planet and its resources for its very existence).

Thanks for sharing!

Jenny

SJWHA

Here's something I do share with you, I think: A sense of wonder at the changes that are occurring in my life. If I grab a thought or feeling, as you are doing here, and try to hold it still, it just vanished as if I am trying to hold on to a cloud. I suspect that these bits are like pieces of a constantly morphing and very intricate jigsaw puzzle. They might be beautiful or they might be ugly and we can ponder them and create all sorts of "understandings." But that is an endless task.

I like this, Steve. And what I notice about this is that it all happens on its own. The grabbing, the vanishing, the morphing, the beauty, the ugliness, the understandings, and even the looking. I just realized, again, that the story is unfolding for my entertainment, and I do nothing (and who knows, maybe everything) to bring it about!

I have often thought how much people like to be entertained. Books, movies, sports, music, you name it--we love entertainment. Sometimes I see life as a grand-scale amusement park, or massive role-playing game--we all ride around in these "avatars," intimately connected to every nuance of possible perception that the avatar is capable of. The trouble comes when we equate our "selves" with the avatar and all its perceptions/doings. We accidentally buy into the story as the real reality, all the while missing "me."

The Looking is the cure for that.

Jenny

 

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