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I feel more but it bothers me less

Hello everyone,

Wow it's good to see this forum so busy and so many people trying to look inward.

I've been busy for a while but I got to plug into the open-house today and it was very refreshing to hear John talk about understanding. When I first met John, coming up on about four years ago, I threw all my high-up spiritual understandings out the window out of spite, because when I heard him say that understanding was an effect, and that it didn't cure the problem, I knew he was right, because I had gathered great spiritual understandings over the course of about 25 years, and I was suicidal.

There's really no way I could have predicted what has transpired over the past four years. But I can see clearly now that though neurotic patterns and body chemistry do still arise on occasion, they bother me much less than they used to, even though I feel them more. In fact I feel more of everything.

For so long I refused to believe anything, or give any merit to any understanding. Today I realized that post fear-of-life understanding can be quite sweet. I don't need it, like I don't need to ride a roller-coaster, but it is quite a thrill to stumble on to it after the fact: "Wow, look at all this anxiety... yuck!... whats for lunch?"

Much love to all.

Mike H

Thanks Mike,

I enjoyed this.


Thank you too Steve! I've enjoyed reading a few of your posts recently as well! More will be revealed!



Your confirmation matches mine, Mike. For years I would tell people when asked about my beliefs that the only thing I believed in was in not believing. That was like a badge I wore. I think it was John's use of the word "apparatus" that allowed even that to drop away as surplusage. The mechanical nature of my mind clacking away became more evident the more I looked. At the same time, I felt a wider panorama opening up. What wasn't dragged up with that opening was the need or drive to fix things the way I wanted or expected things to be or appear. Trimpi

"Wow, look at all this anxiety... yuck!... whats for lunch?"

Thanks Mike, I love this!

~ Dawn


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