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Apology

John,

Please accept this apology. Last week I tried to ask a question of the Just One Look Community about using another "meditation" practice along with looking. Not that you responded and said that I couldn't, I am clear that my motivation was NOT in full support of looking, you or the community. It was my attempt to keep one foot in the comfort of spiritual teachings "“that ironically didn't produce results aside from transient states - and my other foot in looking (the practice that has given me more). My question would have NOT served anyone.

Since I sent my question, I re-listened to your podcasts. In one them you invited someone to set ancient teachings aside (for a while), because you thought people with that background made looking more difficult. They transformed looking into something that it isn't. Or, they try to understand looking through the lens of other practices. I see now that my question was an attempt to understand looking through another practice.

I began looking in November 2011 and my recovery began in December with much turmoil. In an effort to assuage my pain, I began an ancient wisdom practice last month while continuing to look. While it may work for others, combining practices didn't work for me and I ended up in even MORE pain and distress than when my recovery began. Hence, my desire to ask the community my question.

I also re-read your article, "The Fear of Life And the Simple Act of Inward Looking That Snuffs It Out" and understood (again) why I started looking last November. Among other things, my previous practices were attempts to fix my life by "reforming" my mind. I see now that asking the community about combining practices would have been a continuation of that madness.

It's quite funny that as I write this letter of apology, I find that it's now more of a thank you letter. If you had published my question, I may not have been motivated enough to re-read your article and re-listen to the podcasts. Also, I wouldn't have been aware of my residual, unconscious affinity toward ancient wisdom teachings. Of all the practices over my years of searching, looking has been the ONLY one that allowed me to see me! Thank you.

Thank you for all that you and Carla are doing.

Shiva

You are very welcome Shiva.

I had put that posting aside to respond when time allowed me to give it the attention it deserved.

No need for that now, since I would have nothing to add to what you have already seen for yourself.

You have responded to it at least as effectively as I could have.

John

 

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