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Depression and the Looking

When you say you are depressed, you are taking on depression as a quality describing you instead of appreciating it as a transient tint. You know from the long practice of looking at yourself in a lot of different moods and settings that you are not that, nor are you this and that or that and this. Most spectacularly, you know you are not "your" life. So you are not that which crops up in "your" life, including "your" understanding, even of what you may be getting from this piece. It's all free, all given, to you.

The looking erodes the misidentification, not only in believing that you are your life, but that the sum of you is comprised of the qualities -- like depression -- that shows up from time to time. This is not to suggest depression doesn't manifest or that by looking at yourself you will prevent that manifestation, but it is to say that it's not you and that that realization will become more evident not through your understanding but in your reaction to its arrival or the compulsive drive to keep it away. There will be an easing, a relaxing, just as there will be an easing up of all other drives, including the drive to be free of drives.

Since you are going to get to that point sooner of later, why not start relaxing now? I'm not suggesting you let down your guard, but that you allow for the possibility of being overprotective. Then maybe you can meet depression or any other of the bugaboos on an even playing field, which is the broad expanse of you. trimpi

Nice post

trimpi

When you say you are depressed, you are taking on depression as a quality describing you instead of appreciating it as a transient tint.

Well put.

trimpi

You know from the long practice of looking at yourself in a lot of different moods and settings that you are not that, nor are you this and that or that and this. Most spectacularly, you know you are not "your" life. So you are not that which crops up in "your" life, including "your" understanding, even of what you may be getting from this piece.

Curious. I'm only beginning to experience that understanding (the understanding that I'm not my understanding, that none of this belongs to me). It's nice to read an essay such as this, which explores depths that are beyond my own. It's also nice to have fears that I'm not as spiritually advanced as others come up (along with their cousins "I'm not as spiritual as I should be"). I love the "I'm not spiritual enough" fears. Ramana Maharshi says they're a thorn used to remove a thorn. Useful to stimulate looking, then seen as useless.

This is a beautiful post, rich and stimulating.

 

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