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Recovery from 'love'

I just listened to week-long intensive and I am so happy to be part of this community and all the sharing, this yearning to share this message was talked about and it's very much what I'm feeling too...there is a slight anxiety going along with this so i thought to write and see if I can see once again see how this is related to the feeling of something being at stake ..another layer of fear exposed...

My main huge addiction my whole life has been to love. I always had a deep yearning and drive to know and experience all the dimensions of whatever that word meant to me and all the feelings, emotions associated with love, man woman love, tantric love, loving myself, love and devotion to a guru, universal love etc. etc., it was always exciting to indulge the senses, feel needed, feel a part of a community etc. freedom from repression was very liberating and I experienced a deep relaxation in the body and mind, and as was mentioned in intensive the inevitable return of that underlying sense of anxiety, neediness,attachment to an outcome was always there. go figure. I was very discouraged and really pulled back from life and people.It seemed I had to make my world smaller to preserve and protect whatever sanity I had found.

meeting John online I just knew immediately this was it... so I guess just one look is enough... I got 'me' back... so however I got there is fine... unraveling all the threads of this has been very difficult and painful at times but here I am still here...

simply a soft compassion, a smile of recognition when something is shared that touches something in me is more than enough... I find it beautiful to listen and read all the diversity in the reports but for me to hear so many men drawn to this work and sharing so honestly as well... just really nice... this work, the certainty i feel more and more of my "me-ness" is the end of any barriers in me to our common humanity... this movement to write, contribute, happens naturally without fear running the show...

Maureen

Love

Maureen I

I just listened to week-long intensive and I am so happy to be part of this community and all the sharing, this yearning to share this message was talked about and it's very much what I'm feeling too...there is a slight anxiety going along with this so i thought to write and see if I can see once again see how this is related to the feeling of something being at stake ..another layer of fear exposed...

My main huge addiction my whole life has been to love. I always had a deep yearning and drive to know and experience all the dimensions of whatever that word meant to me and all the feelings, emotions associated with love, man woman love, tantric love, loving myself, love and devotion to a guru, universal love etc. etc., it was always exciting to indulge the senses, feel needed, feel a part of a community etc. freedom from repression was very liberating and I experienced a deep relaxation in the body and mind, and as was mentioned in intensive the inevitable return of that underlying sense of anxiety, neediness,attachment to an outcome was always there. go figure. I was very discouraged and really pulled back from life and people.It seemed I had to make my world smaller to preserve and protect whatever sanity I had found.

meeting John online I just knew immediately this was it... so I guess just one look is enough... I got 'me' back... so however I got there is fine... unraveling all the threads of this has been very difficult and painful at times but here I am still here...

simply a soft compassion, a smile of recognition when something is shared that touches something in me is more than enough... I find it beautiful to listen and read all the diversity in the reports but for me to hear so many men drawn to this work and sharing so honestly as well... just really nice... this work, the certainty i feel more and more of my "me-ness" is the end of any barriers in me to our common humanity... this movement to write, contribute, happens naturally without fear running the show...

Maureen

Maureen,

I noticed this post a few days ago and wanted to reply as I know myself how difficult the 'LOVE' topic can be. I also noticed that no one has replied to this post which is a shame as love is one of the most important areas for human wellbeing.The ability you have to love is a gift that you should not try and loose, instead perhaps work on the issues you have with attachment. I am not an expert on love but do feel that people should not feel incomplete as individuals to the point that they 'need' people to the point of addiction. What we do all need in our lives is love.

My own experience is opposite to yours, I find it incredibly hard to 'LOVE' or to be open to this. The 'looking' is opening me up and making me experience emotions that I have had very deeply buried, I am enjoying this experience on one level but on another finding it disconcerting as I am not used to having to navigate this level of emotion. My own sense of 'Self' is helping me with this and enabling me to live with it. One thing I have always believed is that no one can provide you with any answer other than yourself, and the solution to every difficulty has to come from within. Others can be very helpful in facilitating the process such as partners or even Guru's- but in the end it is down to you.

When you look if you find an empty balanced feeling you will know you are in the right place, this feeling should assure you that all the other problems are external factors that are ultimately separate from the balanced feeling of you. If you have this feeling accept it as a sign that you have the strength within yourself to overcome this.

I hope this helps, I will keep a look out for you on the forum

Fiona

Love

Maureen I

My main huge addiction my whole life has been to love. I always had a deep yearning and drive to know and experience all the dimensions of whatever that word meant to me and all the feelings, emotions associated with love, man woman love, tantric love, loving myself, love and devotion to a guru, universal love etc. etc.

Maureen

I had heard Anthony de Mello say that love is the absence of fear. When I first heard it I felt he was saying something important, but I didn't really understand it, as I have never been without fear.

Now I understand it.

-Kaushik

Yes, yes,

self reliance , love without fear ,

caring friends,

simply happy to be alive,

xx

 

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