Just One Look Forum Archives

Hi Everyone

It's very comforting to have a community of support!

I have been a life long spiritual seeker. Although my inner world has much improved, the fear, anxiety and sadness that has plagued me my whole life is still too much with me.

I have been working with the JOL and Self Directed Attention the last few days. This morning I woke up in fear. I let myself experience it fully. It did not dissipate. Then I tried the nostril breathing attention and that seemed to help a little. (Comments on this are appreciated).

When I try to experience my "me-ness" in my childhood, I have difficulty getting away from the feelings that I have attached to the experience even if it appears to be a seemingly "neutral" experience. From my understanding, you are supposed to be an observer of yourself before you can experience the "me-ness"? (Comments on this are also appreciated.)

I thank John and Carla for their work.

My only suggestion is just keep at it . When I have those feelings and emptions I say to myself "distracted" and start the Self Directed Attention ( the nostril exercise) again. You know your distracted if you lost the count of counting your exhale breath to 10. According to John if you tried to connect to get that feeling of "me" than you already have no matter if you think you haven't . So that is one less thing to think about . Your perceptions of fear, anxiety sadness( and for me anger ) change with the practice. I hope this helps

Thanks for your reply. The idea of gaining control over my thoughts and emotions is very comforting.

A heartfelt welcome, Lindala1. The point about the first look is not so much the actual experience of the me-ness. The sense of "me here" doesn't have much of a sensation to it and is therefore difficult to experience at all. It is the momentary focus of your attention on it that counts. That fleeting moment sets off a chain of events that will set you free eventually, even if you don't feel anything. I'd strongly suggest to have Carla lead you through it, just to make sure you do Step One without making it too complicated. The fear of life is a trickster. It's going to do anything to keep you from touching yourself with the beam of your attention. Unfortunately, generating spiritual concepts that might appear to be helpful but are not is one of the tactics that it comes up with whenever it reaches for its toolbox.

I have a spiritual background too, and the only way to actually do what Carla and John ask us to do was to have them do it live with me. There were so many concepts about this and that and the other thing that I just couldn't follow any simple instruction at all without having an inside debate about its true meaning.

You can request a private session here: https://www.justonelook.org/events.php

I hope I'm not making to much of a racket or preaching to the choir here, but when it comes to Step One I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Felix

Your reply is encouraging .Hopefully you'll share your your experiences with this practice . All my best.

Felix, your feedback is much appreciated. I see a distinction in what you are saying about the "experience of me-ness" vs "the momentary focus of the attention", but intellectually I'm not totally grasping it. Perhaps the intellect does not belong in this process anyway. I will take your advice and schedule a private session. It is wonderful that I have the support of those who have gone through this process and access to Carla and John. I am very committed and sincere in my desire for emotional freedom. I'm tired of suffering. Yes, I will share my experiences.

I've been practicing JOL and SDA for about three weeks now. Today Niklas was kind enough to Skype with me and he confirmed that I was on the right track. That was very helpful.

So far, my experience has been very positive. I feel more peaceful and light hearted and less reactive. I actually find the SDA very relaxing...perhaps because I've been a meditator, this wasn't entirely foreign to me. (Although I now realize the goal of SDA is different from meditation). I've been doing the SDA twice a day as suggested. I guess I'm in the "honeymoon period"?

Maybe I'm naive, but I'm hoping that since I have done a lot of work on myself that my recovery will not be difficult.

I have been a student of A Course in Miracles since the 1980's and I am still inspired by the teachings. I don't see that for me, it is incompatible with what I am doing with JOL.

Excellent!!!

Lindala1, I am glad that our conversation was helpful.

As to your recovery. I think it is best to not try to expect how your mind will react during recovery. Just take things as they come, if they come. Your strict practice of SDA will surely serve you well, either way. Good job!

One unique aspect of JOL is the fact that it is a method and not a teaching. A method develops constantly and has a practical approach to its goal. A teaching is more eternal and has often a lot more to say. So in that sense the Just One Look Method is nothing that you really cant be a "student" of for so much time. The JOL method educates you how to take control of attention. And after that it is not much more to learn from the JOL method and your primary interest will instead be on using the attention skills in your ordinary life as it unfolds.

All the best..

Hope everyone is handling the COV19 quarentine OK. Everyone I know has the time to do the look and the Self Directed Attention Excercise in what seems to be a unique set of circumstances. Wishing everyone all my best!!!

Hey Niklas . Really admire how you constantly reach out to members to guide and encourage them with their doubts and this method. I find your suggestions succinct and to the point .

Hi Mischa! Thanks for your encouragement. I really appreciate your willingness to post too and I am sure that many people find them both helpful and encouraging.

I think it is interesting that you mention the Corona Virus outbreak. Like the Virus, the Fear of Life, is an unseen "enemy". And we can only beat the Virus by following the global mantra of today; Stay at Home. And in a way, to recover from the Fear of Life, it is also necessary to learn to be able to "Stay at Home", but more as a mental reality of course. To "Stay at Home" could be synonymous to give your attention a "House Arrest", by not allowing it to engage with "Infected" thought forms.

And I agree with you that these times could be very beneficial for Looking at oneself and to practice Self Directed Attention. I'm am very aware of, of course, that many people struggle with basic needs right now and has little time and interest to do anything else. But for those who struggles mostly with boredom, restlessness and maybe also an increase in depression and anxiety, the JOL method would surely be a really good idea to try in these times. So I think it is a really good idea for everyone who has any experience with the JOL method, to suggest it people you know who hasn't tried it yet.

Take care everyone and remember to "Stay at Home"!

I like your analogy "To "Stay at Home" could be synonymous to give your attention a "House Arrest", by not allowing it to engage with "Infected" thought forms..The mind always thinks of fearful things . With this method we can concentrate on useful solutions to all lifes' obstacles . Thanks for posting.

In my own experience, I find that the saying "Time heals all wounds " kinda fits here. I've noticed an ever increasing sense of confidence and ok-ness with each passing year. Its funny to read the posts in here and then find yourself experiencing the same things they said would happen or happened to them!

I've made an almost obsessive habit to tell myself "what OBSERVES this?" Through out my days.

in short, give it time! Pay attention to your experience and ability to witness it. The rest will just take care of itself.

Thanks Rick. That is an interesting OBSERVATION on your part. This thread has been developing nicely and hopefully is encouraging people to take that look or to continue with this method. Either way that in itself is encouraging !t I am just curious though ,when you do ask that question, is that rhetorical question ( like when I say distracted when I lose count while doing the self directed attention exercise) to get back control of your attention and where you want to put it, or are you trying to seperate yourself from the experience as well?

I am curious if there has also been a spike of interest in the just one look site and the forums since the lockdown. This method, inquiry, and dialog is just the thing needed to create an atmosphere of practical and positive sanity which is also essential to deal with COVID 19. Even though were both locked down in our respective countries, we were able to have meaningful dialog through Skype. So it is possible to be self isolated, connect, encouage and develop our community of Just One Lookers. 😃💯