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Recovery & Physical Ailments

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  • #16
    Thanks for sharing. In spite of your situation you still appreciate the joy of life. That's deep. Wishing you all the best for the new year.


    • #17
      Hello, it's me

      Dear Paul,

      Thank you for this email!

      Would you consider posting the content of this email in the Recovery forum? We think everyone should see it.
      Now that the soldiers of fear may be inspected along with all that is arising in any moment, well, Carla, attention seems to be just a gift. I mean every single moment. This discovery has been accelerated [I presume because it is now and here] by my recent hospice pain. With no avenue of fear to turn to PRECISELY because of the untrustworthiness of the fear choice or option. You see, yes you see, pain is still here after turning to fear. And so I did not choose suicide as an option to be rid of the fear of life's pain on November 21st. I did something other, most probably functional, because I am still here beyond that pain. Which pain has revisited me again and again mysteriously. I am still left with a fear option but it is easily dismissed [almost as it appears it disappears as not even to be slightly noticed]. Instead, I do what is available to move to balance, not inclined towards fear but towards sane choices like you and John. This has been EVENTUALLY noticed after just one look. Though now I am confident that it happens in that initial look because nothing else accounts for the free choice before now. Free choice in the midst of out of fucking control pain. That's the cure. No, not the cure, but when you are still here after death pain, you slowly start to get a grip on what's here. Yes, you do have to choose to balance the pain and or the fear along with the pain. How do I know, I am still here. Somewhere in the haze of pain, I started doing functional actions that freed me. And all of a sudden, freedom from fear vested me. Now I seem to be left with a functional choice when confronted with anything. So much so that the arising seems to be only functional. So I guess we are looking always but just not at me. Which, since is, who we are--then after a simple look all is well. Very simple. Very here. Always.

      When fear is gone it is less than stupid as a choice--it just disappears and you do not even need to know what is left. Except it is none other than you, just not afraid. Which is easy, We all know who we are. That sense of me, even in fear. All that you are without fear is you. But without fear. Absolutely nothing needs to be done to you. Just look once at me and you will be WHAT? It does not matter what you will be when the fear of life is gone because all you are left with IS NOT FEARFUL. That is to say, Carla, when the fear is gone, really all that is left for me to do is increase my support for your free, clear and most direct way to balance.

      Now it's time for me and you to simply live our lives and see what happens. And, of course, because you must do it, I will increase my cash [$200/mo. now, but I will see about increasing] for your wonderful life's work to get this message of "just one look at me" out to the rest of the noticing world.