Just One Look Forum Archives
A New Beginning
One result of this process that I have noticed more and more recently is that I now have one life. What I mean by that is that when I hear many people speak, and write about their life and experiences, they seem to refer to two different lives: one inner life and one outer life. And I can remember that I used to do that too. And to think that you have to combine those two lives can be a real struggle. "Am I doing what I think is right? Should I do something else? My life situation does not match my deepest thoughts and feelings. I want to find my destined purpose in my life that makes my inner and outer lives become one. And my inner life is very private and complicated and hard to share with others." I am certain that the experience of having two lives that must be combined to give them meaning is the experience of all kinds of people. Not just spiritual seekers. I see this struggle everywhere I look.
For me. this struggle is over. I have one body, one mind and one life. And I must say that this feels great and I can almost not remember that it ever was otherwise. I honestly don't know what inner life means anymore. I don't experience having anything special inside myself. And when I write about this I can notice that there is something that used to be here and is not here anymore (probably the context of fear). It feels like something really complicated, heavy and bottomless has left me. Now I feel me being here, interacting with my life. This almost sounds stupid but that is what I feel.
And this new experience just confirms to me what I have seen for some time now and what John has said all along. Namely that the feeling of "me" has healed my mind and that that in turn has resulted "only" in ordinary sanity. What I have wanted all along is plain, ordinary sanity and that is what I have got. My mind is more and more interested in sanity, or maybe more and more uninterested in insanity. When I, for example, talk to my friends about these matters, I almost feel simpleminded. I never follow along into what I see to be not worth attending to. It is not that I only want to speak of the act of inward looking and what I believe that act is capable of. I love to look into almost everything. But if I feel that the "drive" behind what is said is coming from the context of fear, I never give in to it. And that is not a struggle for me, I am just not interested. I will not serve fear anymore.
One look leads to one sane mind and one sane life.
What is new about John Sherman is that he has caught our attention. Immediately our life is us. Even this notion does not change you--or--me. But your attention has been caught while whatever thoughts continue to arise.
Niklas, It sounds like you inner life has married your outer life. Love has been at work here and merged inner and outer into one. You write that you no longer can find anything special inside yourself. I guess you mean that now your whole life is special. Not JUST your inner life. Not your inner life SEPARATED from your outer since they are now ONE.
Thank you so much for this Niklas!
Great... Expresses so well what I feel.
Thank you, Maureen.
Beautifully and intelligently expressed, Niklas. Thank you.
Thank you, Marlowe...
I even think that there never was a time when I had two lives. Before I was aware of my physical feeling of me, I experienced it that way though.
Now I was about to write that; now it seems like life is just outward, but then I noticed that inward and outward, as directions, only are useful in a mind that are experiencing two life's. I can no longer say that I am inward and that my life is outward. I can no longer use that statement. It doesn't mean anything to me anymore. The only thing that feels natural to say is; me and my life. And that I attend to things that is going on around me. And it seems like more and more frequently, my natural inclination is to attend to things that serves sanity and common sense.
I think we all eventually will have a really warm good laugh at this struggling attempts to describe the most natural thing in the world. It is both beautiful and humorous. And to people that are new to this work and cant make sense of my distinctions in this matter, please just look away from it. It is not important to understand this, it is just a part of the process. If you haven't already, just try to perform the act that is suggested in JustOneLook.org and all around this community. That will give you access to your life in away that you did not think was possible, and then you will do your own experiences.
Thank you Bjorn for the inspiration you give.
Thank you, Niklas, once more for your clear and good words. Best regards,
Hi Niklas, an additional thought: I'm not sure I understand everything you have said, about the distinction of the fear of life and the fear of being human. I understand the fear of life, but not sure how that differs, especially because, seemingly, human is all we know."
Thank you for your question. I will try to clarify what I was trying to say.
It was not my intention to make a distinction between the fear of life and the fear of being a human. It was also not my intention to say that the fear lays in being a human. What I meant was that the most of us humans seems to do everything possible to try to escape the raw and naked experience of being a human. Distractions and restlessness (which I know a lot about) seems too have its root in something so simple as the difficulty in just being here and experience life as it is, as a human. And it is the context of fear that does that. That stands in the way.
So I was just trying to confirm, threw my own experiences, that it really is the context of fear that robs us from our natural human experience.
And yes, human is all we know, but we haven't really tried without fear and distraction.
I hope that answered your question, if not, just write again.
Hi Niklas, that makes it clearer to me. Thank you,Marlowe
Niklas, thank you for your post. This one is very inspiring. "No inner life" sounds weird at first, but also very true. Therefore my thoughts aren't mine, either, because "me" doesn't own anything. Thoughts are kind of collective, aren't they? They occur in individual minds and brains but are like weather that comes and goes without borders.
My situation is still mostly introverted. I'm thinking about and trying to imagine how this perspective would inform my painting. I feel it must affect somehow, if not actual paintings themselves, then the way I see them (then looping back to the act of painting itself, perhaps...) If the energy of the looking and my interest in art could come together something might happen. It's when seemingly separate things come together seamlessly, great energy arises and is freed to move. Painting could possibly be the way I express this with most energy. I don't know yet.
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