Just One Look Forum Archives

Hello, I feel like a nervous Nancy, whatever that may be. Even trying to create this report. It's felt sort of silent on here recently, in terms of people reporting. My own process has been engaging, with success followed by--I forget what they call it in pilgrim's progress (as reported in 'little women')--the sloughs of despond? Something like that. Sort of the feeling of riding with the training wheels off (yay!) followed by a 'thud' and bruised ego. I went away for a while, feeling confused by all the discussion--I mean if it's that simple and inevitable, why all this fuss?! All went well, till it didn't, then I somehow found my way back here. I am dubious of teachers and teachings, having been through similar 'sloughs' to many on this site, through years (and aeons?) of spiritual 'searching.' It is amusing for me to read the brief bios forum members post, having been through Puna whilst Osho (aka Rajneesh) was there, etc. Even in the Sufi community I've been involved in for more than 30 years, and where my children were happily held, I have always wandered afield, eventually, having learned much, but then, somehow, my 'story' to always fall afield. So, radical self-reliance it has been in recent times, seemingly shunted down this tube screaming and kicking. It has been a relief to 'stumble upon' John's simple instruction. In recent days, and in tune with the shift into autumn, my mood has spiraled down, then, listening to John this morning, more light. He continues to be spot on and expanding into the ability to fine tune his communication to ears that thirst. I continue to be on the trail. Someone this a.m. spoke about a fit of envy coming up, wrecking his equanimity! I can so relate! All my desire for exclusive, unconditional love (yes, a contradiction in terms) continues to fly in my face--when I forget I needn't attend to it. Working on that. Hope this has some meaning to other than my own self, but if the latter is the case, that's okay too. It is vulnerable to be here. I am so sensitive to nuance and other subtle communications, but so be it. Namaste brothers and sisters, marlowe.