Just One Look Forum Archives

John,

Thanks again for the phone conversation we had a couple of months ago. It was very helpful to me, in spite of the fact that I don't need much help these days. Your clear explanation of looking at myself has pretty much done the trick.

I can't say that my expectations of enlightenment (whatever that may be) have been fulfilled. I find myself enthralled by the mundane (entirely the opposite of that for which I had long toiled). Oddly, this practice seems characterized not so much as what it reveals, but rather what it cuts through, eliminates, dispatches. Interesting.

In addition, I have developed an aversion to other teachings. I am a recovering satsang slut (in the past, I'd take up with any weekender sporting bona fides). Presently, I cannot tolerate satsang-speak, unless it pertains to directly looking at oneself. To make matters worse, I have lost the compulsion to dwell in altered states of being such as feeling at one with everything or perceiving the material world as a dream. I witness friends attempting to take up permanent residence in these spiritual cul-de-sacs with helplessness and poignancy.

You have simultaneously dashed my hopes and made me happy. You've rendered me both ordinary and content. You've taken away my most prized possession and given me the last thing that I wanted: sobriety.

Anyway...er...uh...thanks,

D.