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Hi John,

I have been wanting to write you for awhile. I spoke on one of your worldwide meetings but found that it was difficult to gather my thoughts and communicate them clearly in that venue. Maybe it will be easier next time. I have been thinking about what you say in regards to many of us being preoccupied with the effects of the problem of the fear of life (sadness, anxiety, avoidance etc) rather than seeing clearly the problem itself (i.e. the fear of life) and how this results in us chasing the red herring of effects through therapy, pharmaceuticals, spiritual practices etc., rather than using your recommendation to deal with the actual problem. I think your understanding of this is amazingly clear and helpful.

It got me thinking, though, about how the same can occur with the solution or the medicine as you call it (i.e. having moments when we actually see our own nature). In my experience it seems as if there are moments when I am very much aware of the simplicity of that which is always here, whether stronger in the foreground or humming in the background but the mind takes that very simple, pure, unexciting experience and starts to create stories about this simple split second and those stories create their own effects in me like joy, stories about "oneness", being the witness, yada yada yada, and I am now, again, following a red herring but this time it seems to involve being seduced by the "effects" of having seen my own nature.

So once again, it is like over shooting the mark... like why not just stop at that split second of being with the "me-ness" of me. So it seems like I am always being seduced into the drama of the effect of the "problem of the fear life of life" as well as being seduced into the effects of that split second of the looking at me. Does that make any sense? It makes me wonder about how do I put the breaks on at that split second of simple recognition and not skid in to all of the positive effects that I end up misinterpreting as "it".

The other question I have, John, is about something you said in the May 8th podcast that I found confusing. You said "everything but you is outward... thoughts, feelings, emotions, sensation". My experience has been that everything including thoughts, feelings, sensation seems to arise in that me-ness or here-ness or whatever. Talking about it seems to chop it all into bit which doesn't fit either.

Finally, I want to thank you John for the remarkable guidance and support you provide.

With kind regards,

M.

I read this post and talked about it at the Worldwide Meeting on April 9, 2011.

You can listen to the entire recording in our podcast. Please let me know if more is needed.

In love,

John