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Angst relief...then back to angst!

Hi , I'm new to the looking. I've been a 'truth seeker' for 30 some years now and while experiencing some wonderful revelations from many teachings over the years, I still felt unsatisfied, and in the company of the ever present disturbed background angst. I had already kind of 're-signed' to every understanding 'that which cannot be understood by the mind' and that I really cannot FIX myself, or my life and I CANNOT MAKE enlightenment happen. This seemed to bring part acceptance and depression at the same time.

When I found and connected to this practice/act and what John was saying, I experienced a hug wave of relief. I may have caught a glimpse of 'me', I'm really not sure....I have a feeling to 'carry on' with the looking, (even through thoughts of self doubt... 'you're not getting it'... blah blah) but my seeking mind sure wants results and NOW. LOL

I pretty much 'get it' about the 'looking' act, creating its own recovery, so I guess it's just patience needed....maybe more like waiting...

The seeker in me is watching all the podcast/videos because I really need the encouragement... I still wonder here and there if this is just some other trail to go down that leads nowhere and showcases only a few people that have really 'recovered'.

Carrying on anyway,


A great relief

Hi Gail,

Nice to see you here. As you express I felt the same when I first listened to John. A great relief, a recognition that was so simple, familiar I always have to laugh. I still listened to teachers on internet and even went to a retreat to explore some really difficult aspects of my 'story'.It was a waste of time and money but I love remembering nothing can help you or hurt you.. I always come back to the looking, it's so simple. Nothing special is happening but I feel much more at at ease in my life, the seeker energy always evaluating, judging now only pops up once in a while, all ok, it fades in it's own time, I really have nothing to say about it,

Maureen .

For my money, this is the end of the line. I think other disciplines are helpful for immediate relief, but the inquiry will permanently erode the angst you mention. Trimpi

Thank you, your responses are encouraging.


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