Just One Look Forum Archives

Hi

I just want to introduce myself really and tell you about my experience so far.

After searching for 'enlightenment '. I did eventually experience a wonderful few weeks of 'wowness' for want of a better term. Searching stopped and there was no separation and life was flowing all by itself. Then I woke up one morning and the 'wowness' had gone....I felt very depressed to be honest. One good thing was loads of beliefs I held had disappeared. But I felt very empty.

I came across Just One Look in June of this year. I tried the 'looking' and to be honest I didn't experience anything at all. But John had said in a video and in writing that that doesn't matter. Whenever I felt inclined I did the looking again until that stopped. Now I have started carrying out the SDA.

Although I knew John had said 'once you've looked that's it' ... I was still worried I had missed something. Well tonight I had the pleasure of asking John and Carla this on the phone. I now feel so much better and realise that now all I need to do is the SDA .. but do it, I must.... and regularly to aid my recovery and rid myself of the psychological fears that have alienated me from truly living life, so I can start to enjoy my humanness to the full.

John and Carla were so helpful. No fluffy fantasy promises. A simple practice that leads us to being fully functioning mature self-reliant humans.

John and Carla suggested I introduce myself and my experience so far ... so here I have. I look forward to learning from you all.

Karen 💜

Karen, in the name of all of us here, welcome to our forum! A belated but heartfelt welcome...

How have things been for you in the last 2 months? Do you have anything interesting to report?

Hi Carla

Sorry to have taken so long in responding. Well unfortunately nothing good to report. Just after my post above my best friend died and it broke me. I seemed to be getting it together again and continued with SDA hoping to be able to share some positive feedback. However at the end of November my beloved adopted daughter decided to disown me to seek out her blood family. It was a painful shock as there were no indications. She has totally cut me out refuses contact etc. I shan't bore you with all the details. This truly broke my heart and in truth, I saw no joy in living but was unsuccessful at ending my life waking up 4 days later in hospital. I have made a promise not to attempt this again and so want to get myself together. I do continue with the SDA and have tried again to look... again I don't appear successful in this. I have tried whilst listening to John's instruction.

I used to be a fairly strong person and deal with life better (I've had my share, like most of us, of significant loss before and never had this reaction ) but don't seem to be able to keep a grip on life at all. Going from a person people used to come to for help and support to a weak unable to cope person. I seem to be taking anything and everything personally and crying at everything and nothing. I appear to have a stronger sense of the psychological 'I' more than ever. A me-me-me experience which I loathe. But I seem to have totally lost the plot. Could this be a symptom of the looking?

I apologise for such negative feedback back. I appreciate from others' feedback that this is not normal.

Hey Katie, I'm sure John and Carla will write in with helpful advice. One thing I would like to say though is that, having been on this seeking path for quite awhile, the things you are reporting are quite normal. I think, in most cases, it takes a lot of suffering to motivate us to get on a path such as this. I believe it's possible that, no matter what happens to you, you can get to the point where nothing causes you to suffer. I've seen this in several cases to be true. Sending you lots of + love energy, Lex

Thank you Lex .... I truly appreciate that ☺. I have increased the SDA to two or three times a day (still useless ... one ... one ...one ... lol) I realise I need to work on my attention. Much love x

Hi Karen, so glad you're here. I have had an experience similar to yours...my two adult daughters cut me off and want no contact. It caused me a lot of suffering, but if it's any solace, it does get better. It sounds like you're in recovery, and as Lex said, it's quite normal to go through some turmoil. In my case (I initially did the looking last April), I've gone back and forth, doubting and then not doubting whether JOL really works or not, and I have struggled mightily with myself and have given in to the temptation to look elsewhere for help, which in my case is in the realm of various spiritual teachings that I was involved in for over 40 years. But I always come back. A deep intuition tells me that John and Carla have discovered something extraordinary. We humans love to have instant fixes, or at least some kind of sign that things are getting better, and when that doesn't happen, we sometimes get confused or even panicky, and go looking for something else, or just give up. But as John has so wisely said, none of these things ever work. It took awhile for that to sink into my stubborn little mind, but I think I finally get it! The SDA is a powerful practice, and it does get results. If you stick with it, you'll see them, I'm sure. All the best to you and much love, Amy

Thank you so much Amy ❤. I so appreciate your sharing. It's so hard to be cut off. That must have been so hard for you ❤ I feel an utter failure. Knowing it gets better helps. Thank you. I have never felt so lost, vulnerable or scared before in my life. And though I am a total unrecognisable wreck at the moment... somehow I sense this experience is just that, an experience, and it will pass. But that is how I feel now. I am learning that there is no permanence. It is the attachment to this all (that's happening ) that appears soul destroying. If there was a magic wand scenario. ...I would choose a loving, egoless, selfless detachment to life's experience. But realistically, I see that is my seeking 'goal' perhaps instead it's the realisation that beauty and s### happens and the embracing of it all as life?

Thank you so much Amy ... your words: "we sometimes get confused or even panicky, and go looking for something else, or just give up." So resonate. ..thank you ...I will listen and read more of John and carla's words. Thank you ❤ and much love x

Hi Karen...yes, yes, it was very hard, and I also felt worthless and a failure for quite some time (it's been ten years now), but gradually I was able to see my own worth again, and I know this may sound strange, but the whole thing has turned out to be a blessing for me and I'm feeling much freer. Dropping the attachment has also stimulated my creativity, so hang in there...something good is bound to come out of it! xoxo

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles, Karen. I do agree that things will slowly get better, but there are some rough times ahead and things can feel worse some days. When I have been most despairing, even before the looking, I always had this vague sense of a deeply permanent, indestructible self. It didn't necessarily take the pain away, but I somehow knew that this strength was there. The looking uncovers this deep strength and sense of permanence over time until it becomes our constant or near constant experience. Until then, we catch glimpses and felt-senses of it here and there. When I am most deeply struggling I return to the look, to the permanent sense of myself. I find this grounding and stabilizing. We as humans all go through rough patches (my mother and my wife's mother died within two weeks of each other several years ago), but they need not destroy us. I'm glad you are alive and here. Peace.

I don't know anyone on this type of seeking path who doesn't have this type of experience in one way or another. I truly believe every one of us has to go through this in one lifetime(s) or another. If you're at a place like this, it is my strong opinion that this is your lifetime to at least start on opening to this path and to lose the fear of life, as it is mine.