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One more conversation

Hello Everybody!

I have just talked with an old friend. For a long time I have planed to tell him about what has happened to me since I looked at my self and the hole process around that. But it has been so hard to do it. I have had a big resistant to talk to him about what I am doing. My feeling has been; how can I ever talk to him (anybody) about what is happening to me and in this work, can he really understand, does he think I am crazy or something and so on and so on.

It was a little scary and strange to tell him about this project and my own experiences. But It went really good! He is really interested and I got the feeling that he actually tried to look at the feeling of himself while we talked in the phone. We are also planing to meet and talk more about it. This is so big for me because I want this to be natural for me to talk about, and for every person I talk with it feels less strange. And it also strengthen my own ability's to talk about this new possibility.

And this experience also tells me, once again, that what we are doing here works.

Good luck to everyone out there who are trying to share your experiences. JUST DO IT!

Love,

Niklas

Niklas,

I too find it easier to talk to people about the looking. I have talked to many of my friends and I know for sure that a handful have tried the looking. It has been very interesting to watch the results! As I get clearer and more confident about what is going on with me, I find it easier to talk to others about it. Early on, when I talked about the looking, I threw in a huge caveat, "Hey, I'm not sure this works", you know the changes may have been due to something else", etc.

I no longer need to add the caveat. I know what changed me and who I am. This has made my communication more direct and clear and simple. It's all so plain and simple. I also believe that others pick up on the reality and honesty of the changes in us and this is probably at the intuitive level. We are different and that comes across somehow. Especially to people we are close to. I remember the evangelical Christian adage, Let you life be an example. Ironically, I have never been able to do this until the looking.

Jackx,

I recognize this very well. It is getting easier and easier to talk about. And I have noticed that talking about it, is the best way to get better in talking about it. The same process as in every learning. It has helped my process of recovery very much since I threw my self out in conversation about this work. For a long time I sat and waited for things to clear up, and the hole thing of looking at yourself, recovery and this project seamed pretty strange and hard to link to my self and my life. A gut feeling, that this act and this work was offering something really powerful, kept me here. And the real breakthrough in my recovery came when I stared to talk. Talking through postings in this forum. Talking with friends. It made the process more real and about me and my life. It was not just some new interest that I had. This is actually about me and my life. Nothing more nothing less.

And as you said about that we effect the ones we are closed to. That is also my experience. It seams like we don't speak from the fear based context us much as before. And other people can feel that, as you said. I often find myself using sentences as: "that is nothing to be afraid about, it is not dangerous, right". And if we don't speak from the fear, it is almost as a release for others. Actually I think it is much humor in this. Maybe tragicomic but anyway. I often get a picture that the neurotic fear is like a little scared child. The scared child, like the fear wants to check everything and has to be guided threw "dangerous" situations. "It is ok, it is not dangerous, you can go and check it out, it wont hurt you". I use to talk to a friend, that also is saying goodbye to the neurotic fear and we love this image of our neurotic fear as a scared child.

Conversation is priceless. I even feel stronger and more self reliant after every posting. Thank you Jackx for engaging in conversation about this wonderful work we are doing together.

As you said, Now our life is our example.

Niklas

 

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