The JUST ONE LOOK METHOD is an extremely simple approach to psychological misery unlike anything you have ever tried. It will rid you of the root cause of your dissatisfaction with life and the painful yearning for peace and fulfillment that seems never to be fully satisfied.
Our method is the result of seventeen years of experience working with people all over the world who have seen their relationship with their own lives change dramatically for the better.
We promise you that if you will just try to do what we suggest here, you will succeed. In time, your relationship with your own life will change forever. You will continue to grow in sanity, clarity and effectiveness in your relationship to the circumstances of your life. You will find ever-deepening satisfaction and a clearer understanding of what it really means to be human.
Start by practicing the Self-Directed Attention Exercise to learn to control your attention. This is hard to do for everybody, but only because we are not used to it. Most of the time, we don't even know that we can control our attention. But you anyone can do it. Please follow the instructions:
Sit down, close your eyes, and just focus on the sensation of the air when it goes out of your nose. Spend some time just trying to feel that. You may want to do just that the first time.
Next time, try counting the out-breaths. Every time the air goes out of your nose, count it silently in your mind. With the first out-breath, say to yourself silently: 1; with the second out-breath: 2. Until you get to 10.
Now, you will probably not be able to get beyond 1 or 2 without getting distracted by your thoughts. For instance, you may find yourself thinking that this exercise is stupid and you'll never gonna get it.
When you notice that you are thinking and not doing the exercise, stop. Don't criticize yourself, don't tell yourself you can't do it, etc. Stop right there and immediately move your attention to your breath and start counting again from 1. No judgement.
The point is not to get to 10. The point is to notice when you have moved away from the focus point (the breath) and then deliberately choose to move it back to the sensation of the breath.
Take 10 minutes a day to do this exercise, when you wake up or before you go to sleep. Set up a timer so you know when the time is over.
You may find yourself starting over and over from 1 for a while. This is completely normal. Don't push yourself too hard. Be patient with yourself. This is really hard to do. As it becomes easier, you will be able to count to higher numbers and you will do it more often. It won't take long before you start to see the real benefit of this exercise in your life.
Do this for a couples of weeks. When you feel confident that you have acquired some control over your attention, move on to Step Two.
In the same way that you directed your attention to the feeling of your breath in your nostrils, move the focus of attention inward, looking for the faint sensation of what it feels like to be you. What you would call me.
What you are looking for here is the simple me-ness of you. Not the thoughts or the emotions rise and fall within you, or any ideas about your nature that you have heard or read about.
This simple act of inward looking at your me-ness, the sensation that you would call me, automatically dissolves the background of anxiety, distrust and dissatisfaction that is the experience of life for most of us.
After looking at yourself, you may experience relief, lightness, and a sense that all is really well for a few days, weeks, or even months. After that, there may be a period of confusion and psychological difficulty, in which old patterns of thought and behavior reappear.
You don't have to do anything to kill those diseased psychological mechanisms off because the only way that they live is through the energy you give them by attending to them.
The best way to get though this difficult time is to continue your daily practice of the Self-Directed Attention Exercise. This practice will help you strengthen your control over what you pay attention to and develop self-reliance.
Please keep in touch and let us know how this unfolds for you. There is plenty of support available on our website and many people in our discussion forums who can help you put what is happening to you in context, and guide you in developing your own understanding and your skill at navigating this entirely new relationship with life that will begin to take shape.Read a report from a veteran who was diagnosed with PTSD.
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