Just One Look Forum Archives

I am experiencing fear. I direct my attention away from that fear. My attention is no longer on the experience of fear. A moment passes. What I am stating occurs again and again in my experience.

Some time passes with the experience of life showing up as if the fear will always be present, which in itself is a fear. However because I am aware of another experience and how that shows up there is a sense of something else...

I have been told about looking, but it seems like it cannot be represented or understood fully in any way. I decide to try to look at the source of myself. I cannot be certain that what will occur will show up in a way that I could describe as having happened correctly. Somehow, someway my attention is directed away from that which is not my source and then an experience happens.

This experience is not good, nor bad, and at first thoughts, and feelings arise. Really though these thoughts and feelings don't describe what is happening. What is happening cannot be summed up. When I try to describe this experience what I say falls short. I can only point at this but what I am pointing at has no location. What I say rather than what happens comes from my ability to try to understand what my attention is on. I distinguish what I say from what happens.

I look at my source. After this, it occurs that the experience moment to moment that is happening comes from something I cannot sum up or talk about in a description. The fear begins to depart without immediately solving life's challenges or problems.

I continue to pay attention to what my attention is on. This is the most useful way I can address fear. When it occurs to look, what happens shows up in experience. I notice during these moments that there is a fulfillment in doing the work of my life. Problems still occur, challenges still occur, emotions still occur, pain still occurs, as well as fulfillment or moments of happiness. After working on my attention for some time my attention now has been shaped into something strong and resilient. What my attention is, comes from all those redirections in the past. This same attention will allow creative redirection to shape the future. I look when it occurs to do so.

What I have said points to what is happening now. What has happened is that I have had an experience of looking at the source of myself. I was told about looking. I have looked and I will look again. For this, appreciation occurs. I am not special in a way that distinguishes me in any way from any one person's ability to look. Looking cannot make anyone better than any other being. To me experiencing my source is paramount to being alive in the first place.

If you are living, you may look. You do not need permission to look. You could look now or you could look any other moment in the future. I hope that I am developing the ability to look as often as is useful. I remind myself that looking doesn't remove feelings. To look at my source I direct my attention on my source, the source of myself. A look occurs, an experience occurs, moment to moment and all the while I am paying attention to what is occurring. My relationship with fear shows up differently as I pay attention to what is happening now. The way that fear departs is directly related to the development of my attention. Attending to the source of myself or looking at my source is probably the best way to develop my own attention that exists. I don't know of a better way to develop a useful ability to attend to the act of living. We all have this ability. The ability to look is shared by all. Perhaps One cause, one cure. We are all in this together. points to that?

Focused attention brings about a whole new aspect to reality.When the undercurrent of fear has been faced(looking)something releases and there seems to be an added ability to observe reality without moving into self defence or a us/them mode.The practice of focused attention or moving your attention at will allows me to better understand the mechanism that has kept my fearful point of view in place prior to the looking act of self reliance.

Thanks for your post Jon_K.It's excellent to have this forum available.It feels like the first time that I can speak as myself.

Ian Weir