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12 weeks of looking

I really like Mark's report titled "The looking at me has been quite a trip." I am still in the recovery process, and recognize there is nothing I need do to "make" it happen--it does itself. Any "lessons" I am learning do themselves. The looking does itself. Everything takes care of itself. And I am recognizing that even though I appear to be on a path of recovery, I'm not really going anywhere or becoming anything. I am as I have always been, this "me" that I feel I am, this ordinary, crystal-clear, and ever-present here-ness. And so, though I may "wait" for recovery to happen, I also see that I am not what is recovering, because I am the same that I have always been. I have only been waiting to recognize myself as always here, always the same, never touched by any of it. And so gradually, the fear is subsiding, the feeling of being at at stake here is dissipating, and the need to hold things at arm's length is slowly dissolving. But here I am, the same as always! I, the me-ness of me, is not subsiding, dissipating, or dissolving! The looking is showing me that I am the only thing that does not come and go--all of life comes and goes, except for me. And I am sure that is everyone's experience, and the looking is the medicine that allows every "me" to see that.

I also resonate with what John has said about humanity being one organism and the universe itself being one organism. And so it seems that there is just one "me" having an uncounted number of experiences through all the infinite myriad form--the universal organism becomes self-aware through this looking at "me."

In love and gratitude for sanity,

Jenny

lovely clear

lovely clear

Lovely clear, Jenny, thank you, Marlowe

Beautifully said. Thank you smily

 

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