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Physical pain during recovery

A few reflections on 3 weeks of physical pain. (I misused my back and had my first experience with intense sciatica.) Now I am in recovery both from the fear of life and a bulging disk. My initial fear of life was so strong, it spawned an apparatus that wanted to avoid pain above all else. Therefore my life has been a safe, careful one avoiding anything, any situation where possible emotional or physical pain might ensue. This time was different. I took just enough pain medication to take off the edge, choosing to experience a level of pain to remind me to be caution in my movements. The pain kept me awake many nights. This experience gave me an opportunity to see that for me physical pain captures attention like nothing else. Even so, I was able to stay present with it much of the time. I was also reminded that I'm not in control of anything. (What a waste of all that careful avoidance behavior!) I even had a few half smiles when I reminded myself that, "It is just pain." What didn't show up this time is Poor Me or self-blame. Lera Jane

Hi, Lerajane

Hi, Lerajane

Yes, a bulging disk is no joke. I hope you feel better. Your presence here is a blessing.

Thanks David. I am better already. Lera Jane

Hi Lerajane, I consider your shift of attitude pretty significant....it's just pain, instead of the other habitual reactions. Thanks for sharing

Gail

 

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