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John, when I look at myself...

John, when I look at myself (understanding that I continue to be not really know what I am doing), I, of course, feel the swirling energy/energy fields around me, sometimes heavy, sometimes not and think, well this is not me, because I can see it/feel it, like I feel my body, but I am aware that there is looking that is aware of this, quietly in the background. That this "presence" does not change... but is quite elusive in putting your finger on.

The fear you talk of, in my life, is very palpable, overwhelming, and often directed to the fear of disease, obsessions about symptoms. Do I just keep looking whenever I can through all of that, during the day when I remember no matter what I am doing, while TV is on, dinner with my partner, when every one else is asleep and when I wake up? Clueless in NY, but trying (along with other healing practices in desperation). Thank you for your kind attention.


I read this post and talked about it at the Worldwide Meeting on May 7, 2011.

You can listen to the entire recording in our podcast. Please let me know if more is needed.

In love,



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